Ships that pass in the night

31 10 2013

Over a month since my last post! I am getting slack!

Although in all honesty, there’s not been a huge amount to write about, the last few months have progressed more or less without incident. I’m in the process of changing jobs and have decided to have another crack at drama school, this time going for the Oxford School of Drama. The house and all things surrounding it are same old really.

I was thinking about one thing which was the main reason for my posting tonight. And that’s people who come in and out of our lives for seemingly random reasons but maybe those reasons aren’t clear straight away. I’ve never been a big believer of fate or destiny etc but I have trusted the phrase that “everything happens for a reason” to be true in most instances.

I’m not really thinking of anyone specific scenario but what turned me onto to thinking about this was when my best friend left for Estonia a few weeks ago. He’s been a fairly permanent fixture in my life for the past 7 odd years, more of a brother than a friend, and it was a bit of a shock when he announced he was moving out there. It got me thinking that over the years how he’s changed and to what degree that’s been an influence from me and vice versa, how have I changed as a person since I’ve met him, I can certainly say my interest of films has increased exponentially.

But it got me thinking about other maybe less than savoury influences you might have in your life and the reasons why you choose to keep them if you do, obviously some people live under duress from these influences and it’s a sad fact if they feel unable to escape. But when you have the choice is it some innate knowledge that the person can be good? Or more of an apathy towards your own self worth?

I’ve certainly met and maintained friendships with people who clearly never had my best interests at heart on various escapades but thinking back I couldn’t tell you why I maintained those relationships. In some cases I learnt things sure, even if it was only that people are dicks. Well some people. But in the majority of instances it just seems like a really odd blip out of a fairly regular routine.

I don’t know, I’m just waxing lyrical here, I’m just thinking out loud really. No real answer to be had here, ah well.

Anyway, bye for now

Kal x

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3 responses

31 10 2013
Pete Davison

People come and go, it’s life. How many people from, say, school are you still in touch with?

The age of social media has set us up to believe that we need hundreds of friends to feel “complete”; that friendship is a competition against our friends, with a score measurable by how many people we have on Facebook.

As the old adage goes, though, it’s quality, not quantity. You’ll whittle down your friendship groups over time and while it’s sad to say goodbye to some people — or, in many cases, just let them drift away without saying anything — it’s a necessary and helpful part of moving on with life. The people who stick with you — or whom you make a specific effort to stick with, regardless of circumstances — are the ones who count and matter.

31 10 2013
Kal

I’m still in touch with a few old school friends but the majority of my inner circle are formed of people I met since my uni days.

I wasn’t really thinking about social media influence but more the people that we interact with on literally a daily basis. Best friends, colleagues, housemates, those that have a real and lasting influence whether good or bad.

31 10 2013
Pete Davison

Oh yeah, “real” friends are definitely more important — my point was that the rise of social media has conditioned many of us to think more about our online persona than our “real” identities; to believe that we’re cultivating friendships when in fact all we’re doing is collecting acquaintances. I saw a great video a while back about how people who use social media a lot are actually very lonely people, but I can’t for the life of me remember where it came from.

The same is true for those real-life friends, though, too; people will come and go just the same, and it’s a natural process. When I was back at school, for example, I couldn’t imagine life without my “best friend”, but I barely speak to them now. Likewise, there are housemates — people I lived with! — whom I haven’t heard from for a long time now, too. And that’s fine; we’ve both moved on to different places in our lives after, to borrow your post title, passing in the night in the grand scheme of things.

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