The Bad….

22 02 2013

I don’t particularly want to dwell on this post but given that I’ve been fairly candid in the past about my relationship with my family this really comes as no surprise. It really does seem that lately members of my family have moved from general dislike to outright animosity toward me, and this isn’t just paranoia, I hear the whispers quite literally. For all their bullshit, my brother remains the main antagonist in what I can only imagine is the grand plot to bring me down to speak. It never has been clear what exactly his problem is with me other than the fact he bears some kind of deep seated resentment towards me from some unknown crime I committed. And now I learn he is expecting his first child…

While the birth of a child in most situations is something to be celebrated in this case my heart breaks for the toxic state of mind it will suffer at the parenthood of my brother and the surrounding family the child will grow up in. As much as I would like to be a part of this kids life it’s not meant to be. Partly because the family will do their best to create distance lest I “corrupt” him/her with my wild ideas of free thought and following your dreams as I’ve noticed the same behaviour occurring with nieces and nephews who at one time couldn’t wait to see their uncle Kalam over other family members. And also partly because I know my brother will poison this kids mind with the same resentment of whatever crime I supposedly committed towards him. I’m almost glad that I won’t be around to see this kid grow up, and who knows, maybe this kid won’t take as long as I did to realise this family will hold it back in anything they don’t want it to do and break free from that mindset earlier.

While that attitude may seem cold, I’ve seen the same nieces and nephews that I saw so much potential in when they were younger, I see them now with their spirits defeated and absolutely no passion for anything that they do. All down to the same ridiculous doctrine being drilled into them from the earliest age that they should be “good muslims” and that the pursuit of happiness in the form of any kind of creative craft is an instant condemnation of their soul. Now consider to me and you that’s a complete crock, to a 10-year-old. It’s a life shattering revelation. That’s not to say that you can’t be a good muslim and be creative, but in this family they’d rather you were dead than bring shame upon them by not doing what they say whether thats a choice of university or what you wear when you leave the house.

A clean break and a fresh start is what’s needed. This year could potentially have big changes being enacted and it will provide both of those things, otherwise, it’s back to the drawing board. But we remain forever optimistic or at least try to, and try to carve out our own little piece of legacy. I for one when/if I have kids, will be doing my absolutely utmost to do the exact opposite of everything I see in this family, as I can think of no better way to screw a kid up…

Tomorrows post is The Ugly…

Toodles

Kal x

 

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9 08 2013
Freedom of the body, Freedom of the mind, make the spirit a whiskey… | Not Exactly One A Day...

[…] It’ll still be a few years to see exactly what side she takes as I mentioned in a previous post, that’s if there is even a side to take by that point. I’m hoping there won’t be […]

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