Get up, dust off and walk like you got a purpose….

12 01 2013

 Rooftop

To those who saw Skyfall, you’ll be familiar with that photo and where in the movie it sits and why I feel it relates to my post tonight. Those who haven’t seen Skyfall, shame on you, go and watch it.

It’s been two months since my last post. And with good reason. The events of the past few months have been trying to say the least. The whole Blue Amigo fiasco landed me in some serious financial trouble. Not that I’m never not struggling financially anyway but to go three months without a pay cheque of any kind deals a major blow to ones self confidence and general motivation to do well, anything. The benefits of having gone to the gym for those few weeks across September and October I think were the first things to noticeably suffer and I am aware of having put on a little more weight than I’m comfortable with. The career track has been thrown off course, the job in London didn’t work out, entirely down to Blue Amigo’s promises to pay and continually let me down so I came back home with my tail between my legs. Well definitely with a dented sense of pride anyway.

But onto new things, it’s a new year, and I’m not going make a grandstand about how this year is going to be my year like I’ve done in the past. Instead, it’s all about working on making the little things work. After taking the time to really think about, and speaking with my closest confidantes and friends, I’ve come to the conclusion that the remark about writing off acting altogether was something that was said in the moment and truthfully I can’t give up that easily on something I’ve wanted for so long, but this time setting a realistic goal of if it’s not been achieved by a certain date then it’s a sensible idea to start looking for another career properly, and not just settling into something because I’m half decent at it.

I had an absolutely wonderful xmas with one of my best friends Naomi and her family who very kindly invited me to spend xmas with them. And it was exactly what I needed, a few days away from the stresses of home and spending time with people who are happy to call each other family. This isn’t really common knowledge but for the last 4/5 years of my dads life, we didn’t speak because of his own issues with my chosen career path, it doesn’t bother me so much now but there was always that absence of a strong role model to look up to when I was growing up and that does bother me so I imagine that, I, like most kids who had difficult relationships with their parents, adopt surrogate families wherever I go. This xmas I adopted a new family in Naomi’s :) and I had 3 of the best days I had all year :)

So I go into 2013 with a renewed vigour with the confidence and hope of being able to achieve somethings that maybe I didn’t think I was capable of before, seeing my goals with fresh perspective so to speak, in no small part by the conversations I had with my friends Sheena and Stuart when they were here visiting from Canada over xmas.

Tomorrow I go and sign up with the gym again, admittedly I am almost three months behind of my schedule fitness wise but I’m not going to dwell on it. Just try and get back onto the horse and into a little bit of shape before Japan rolls around. I’ve managed to stay off smoking for the most part since September, I had a few over xmas and I think they resulted in a bit of a throat problem through to the new year, so needless to say I think that’s my relationship with cigarettes done. I never thought I would say that but how things change eh? Although I’m sure I’d still be partial to a cigar or a sheesha pipe ;-)

With Japan less than three months to go I’m surprised at how much my nerves are getting the better of me. This will be my first trip to a foreign country with no one to fall back on and I’m not afraid to say that I’m equal parts terrified and excited. As much as I know about and love Japan, I’m pretty certain I’ll still be subject to a major culture shock when I step off the plane, but it’s all very exciting and I cannot wait. I’m starting to put together the itinerary for my trip now so if anyone has any suggestions of places to go/check out please let me know.

The biggest factor that’s enabling me to go to Japan is of course the procurement of a new job, without going into detail about it purely because of the nature of the work I’m doing suffice to say, I am enjoying it and I can see myself there for the foreseeable future. Thankfully having found this job in just enough time that I didn’t have to return the plane ticket, a fact for which I am truly grateful.

While I am focussing on short term goals right now, there is an endgame that could jumpstart things for me but at this stage it’s still very early so I don’t want to mention anything in detail but rest assured, if it comes to fruition then you’ll all be let in on the deal :) I’m playing my cards quite close to the chest with this one and generally a bit more overall, I’ve been accused of being too candid on my blog so this is my attempt to reign it in, and I don’t want to feel embarrassed if it doesn’t work but I’m quietly confident. Anyway, that’s all for now.

I hope you all had a great xmas and new years, speak to you all soon, toodles

Kal x

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