“As we enter the final stretch…”

30 11 2011

Been a few days since my last post so I thought I’d write a quick one to just update on the last few days.

The last day of Movember, I wish I could say that I was keeping the ‘tasch for the purposes of the month but I really just feel more comfortable with some hair on my face! In fact I think the last time I was voluntarily clean-shaven was almost 2/3 years ago! But credit to all my friends that have managed to carry their’s through the month regardless oh how ridiculous some of you looked. lol.

Coming to the end of this year I look back at what I have achieved over the past 12 months, I’ve given up trying to see if I’m where I thought I’d be 5 years ago. I guess I’ve become more cynical in that sense that life just doesn’t work out the way you want it to unless you’re stupidly lucky. And you have to just roll with whatever it throws at you.

I’m not really disappointed by much that much happened this year but at the same time I’m not really that enthused about anything either. I got back into cycling after almost 10 years so that’s something I guess. I now cycle everywhere if I can. Still a sod cycling to work in heavy wind and rain but part and parcel of the choice to cycle.

I had a few gigs as a magician which was fun, met some very cool people and managed to stay in touch with them which is never a bad thing.

Just small victories really, nothing to write home about so to speak. I guess if there’s one area of my life I feel really should improve it would be my love life.

I sorta look at my history compared to my friends the same age. they’ve already had 2 or 3 serious relationships compared to my own number of zero. I’m not seeing it as a pissing contest but in the quiet night sometimes my mind does go a-wondering as to why I havent been able to settle down with anyone. Maybe that’s the wrong word, not settle. but find someone I thought “yeah, this is it” and have that same feeling reciprocated. No doubt I have had one or two ladies come and go in my life that lasted longer than the passing infatuation but never amounted to what id call a relationship.

Eh, who knows anyway, I do enjoy being single. It gives me a sense of certain freedom of responsibility but then I never have been one to really think about what other people thought of me. Friends of mine will be familiar with my saying “you don’t answer to anyone but yourself” when they’ve come to me with indecision about certain aspect of their lives. To me and the few friends who have really heeded that piece of advice they tell me they have a real feeling of liberty in what they do. It is tough to be able to adopt that kind of mindset and not everyone will be able to do it but those that do, you feel the difference.

Anyway, I need to head off and start looking for a new job. Entering my final month with work and I should really get something lined up to after Xmas.

Toodles for now!

Kal x


“As time goes by…”

17 11 2011

This will mark my 10th post and having looked back at the last few there’s been a bit of a negative theme to them. Now admittedly I did open my first post with saying that this would be a free form therapy or sorts which will invariably have some negativity in it but I’d like to break it up a little by having some positive memories so that when future generations look back on this, I don’t come across as a completely cynical old bastard :-P

This month saw the release of a LOT of games that I’ve been wanting for the better part of the last 10 months and it’s actually backed me up quite a bit. In order, I have yet to play Batman, Uncharted 3, Assassins Creed Revelations and the final one which arrived just the other day, the Halo 10 year anniversary edition.

Now this last game has a very special place in my heart because if you go back exactly 10 years to the day yesterday. You would have had a 15-year-old me strolling into my local Argos armed with 400 hard-earned pounds from working at the local cafe as their dishwasher to save up and buy my very first Xbox and with it a little game called Halo. A franchise which would become bigger than I could comprehend at that age and without fully knowing how much it would influence me.

I remember reading all about the new Microsoft console and how it was going to change the face of gaming and etc etc. I was 14 at that time but i devoured every single scrap of media that came out about all the new release day games that were going to be coming with it. And one of the included titles was halo. So 14-year-old me vowed I would be getting that console no matter what. Now at this age I still hadn’t quite discovered my talent for deception and mystery so had to rely on more honest means of earning money. Enter a little cafe in Bicester Market Square called Jennys, which had been around for as long as I can remember and is still there now. The place to go for a primo fry-up after a heavy night out. Both which I wouldn’t discover for another 3 years.

So I was working at Jennys from january of the year I believe. It wasn’t a lot of pay. If i remember right, I think I was being paid £3.50 an hour? I used to do 3 hours after school and then 9 hours on saturday. This went on for months, I swear my fingers were permanently wrinkled from the washing up liquid, but the owner was a nice guy, who I was sad to find out recently that he had passed away a few years ago while I was at uni. He looked after me, made sure I had something to eat on shift as he knew I came straight from school and would include me in the tip share at the end of the day. Really lovely guy. I scrimped and saved every penny I got including money for my birthday and any other little bits of income I got until that fateful day in November when I opened a doorway that would forever put a smile on my face.

To this day, I am still a huge Halo fan and have more than a few pieces of their extended universe that they release in subsequent years, see the pictures to see what I mean.

So here’s to another 10 great years of something which will always bring a smile to my face for its captivating store, characters and immense enjoyably I derive from playing it on my own and with friends.


Kal x

In order, the 10 year anniversary edition of the game, The various collectibles from the last few years and the expanded universe novels, literary and graphic.

“Time is an illusion, Lunchtime doubly so…”

8 11 2011

The above quote was something I found on one of my usual internet trawls that started as a valid search but tend to go off on random tangents. The comes from Douglas Adams who most people will have known for being the author of The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy.

Tonight I really wanted to write about time. Somewhat ironically considering that its 3:03am as I write this.

I sorta look back at certain events in my life, and think would the kid who I was 5 or 10 years ago, really be happy with the man who I am today? I use man in the loosest sense of the word, I’m still a kid at heart. But I remember when I was 15. My world primarily consisted of trying to fit in at school, trying not to fit in at home and video games. For most kids, I imagine they’d already started having a beer or two around this age at house parties that would get thrown. I think I’m right in saying that there were one of two parties I remember as my first house party and both of them place me at 17 years old. First time drinking too at those parties. I drank beer, hated it. Stuck to spirits for years afterwards. But I digress. At 15 all I wanted to do was fit in, but my lack of social awareness back then was so incredibly out of phase with my environment I thought that it was acceptable to say that when I grew up, I wanted to be an assassin. Blame the late night action flicks and lack of curfew from when I was younger that glamorised violence for me. Something that I think to this day attributed to my inability to sleep at regular hours. But all I wanted to do back in those days was get home from school and pick up the control pad so I could carry on with whatever game I was playing from the night before. Maybe try to squeeze out the homework assignments in-between breaks. And that was fine for me at that age, I got by. Small group of friends, didn’t really go out much. Dad had this idea associating with non-muslim white people (e.g. – everyone I know!) outside of necessary times (e.g. – anywhere other than school!) would ultimately harm my chances at getting into heaven. Try wrinkling that in your brain at 15 years old. So I stuck with it and the laughable indoctrination I was subject to because, quite frankly, I didn’t know any better.

Skip ahead a year and I’m in college. And I have a major culture shock. To some degree, the school I went to was fairly sheltered from the world, college opened up an infinite number of different personalities and behavioural types to contend with. And for the first few weeks on my course I was miserable. I only knew one other guy from my school that was on the same course as me, despite the majority of the people I knew from school going to the same college. I did not fit in, lunch times were lonely, bus rides to and from college were tolerated with thinly veiled contempt. It wasn’t until close to Xmas that same year that I began hanging out in the classroom next to mine, where a girl I knew from school did her BTEC in Fashion. I started to hang out with her and her course mates more and more and I found I just got on better with girls than I ever would with guys. No machismo, nothing to prove, I could just have a conversation. I became more comfortable in my own skin over the rest of that year. Had my first college crush on a girl, didn’t end well but hey ho, lol, I was a kid with no game. People who had been acquaintances throughout school, were now friends in college. A sense of belonging. It was around the beginning of my second year that I actually began to give serious thought to what id like to do as a career. Having done drama at school and media at college, I preferred the latter and filmmaking seemed the way to go. That woulda been around 7 years ago.

If someone had told me, that 7 years from then, I would be looking for acting work and practising as a magician as well, I think it probably would have put me on the path I am now a lot sooner. and in some ways I wish someone had. I could have saved so much time not arseing about with things that ultimately wasted my time. The 2 year BTEC at college I did in Graphic Design would have been much better suited maybe looking at a drama college or even the BTEC in drama at the same college.

Nowadays I wish I had the luxury of time that I had when I was 15. Nothing to do but video games and homework. Life has a certain irony to it though, 10 years ago I had all the time in the world and all I did was play video games. 10 years on, the amount of time I have free hasn’t really changed on a day to day basis but I barely find time to play those same video games and keep up with everything else going on. admittedly they are all indulgent pursuits with the exception of some reading material I’ve picked up for drama school but where do we find the time to do anything anymore. it really does fascinate at home much more productive I could have been. situation as it is now though is I try not to worry about what could have been. Time is something I’dlike to enjoy so I try and spread it as thickly as possible. outwardly that might seem quite lazy lol, inwardly though I don’t feel rushed.

And that’s a nice feeling to have at any time of the day :-)


“Remember, Remember, The First Of Movember…”

1 11 2011

Happy First of Movember everyone! Hope that you’ll all be keeping your moustaches!

It’s been just over a week since my last post but the events in between make it seem so much long! The last few days have been incredibly busy for me, but in a really good way. Plenty of laughs and fun had with old a friends and new!

Work was mostly uneventful over the few days before the weekend, I did however give them a heads up that I would not be around for their xmas period. Working where I do and not getting paid a huge amount along with the isolation I’m feeling at home is starting to make me a tad disillusioned towards the mindless zombies that are the “just browsing/looking/I  don’t want any help” masses of idiocy that walk through my doors every day of the week, so I would rather leave the company before I completely snap and go into work armed with a baseball or any other such weapon with which to punctuate my dissatisfaction with working there! So as of the 23d of December this year, I will be enjoying my first xmas and new years where I’ve not been expected at work the day after either. It will be bliss. I do feel some sympathy to wards the colleagues who I will be leaving to pick up the slack from my leaving, however I’m sure they were rather a little overworked than be caught in the crossfire of a war between me and the upper echelons of the company. And I would rather leave on terms where there is a capacity for me to come back should I ever have a change of heart, or they start paying more! Also I told them because me and the assistant manager have known each other a long time and he could do with a heads up to sort out shifts and what not. Least I could do for the guy. But that was that and I felt enormously relieved after I had told them. My official 4 week notice is yet to be handed in but they know now which is the main thing.

This past week also saw the my first night out with the boys from work and good god did we make it a heavy one. The pictures and videos speak for themselves I feel and you’ll be able to see both by clicking on the Facebook link at the top. The album you’re looking for is “The Best Kinds Of Worst People….” A moniker which i feel was wholly appropriate for the antics of that night and hopefully many more to come. Hope fully a few more before I have left too!

This weekend was the main thing I was looking forward to however, Halloween! Not so much for the dress up and what not but more because I’d get to see my best friends again! In the spirit of the day though I did throw together a rather simple outfit and went as House. All that was required as a walking stick and a little bottle of pills. Easy enough to procure, the latter being from an ebay prop store. Now I don’t think anyone actually got who I was supposed to be, there aren’t really any distinct marks of House short of his cane that would give it away and even then unless you watched the show it’s a wild guess at best. But walking with a cane did produce some interesting results, people will just leave you alone or they’ll be more receptive to you approaching them. is there something about someone walking with a cane which make us pre-determined to assume that they are approachable? Regardless of hold old they look? Interesting thoughts!

The party was held by my friend Kelly at her new flat in Reading and then on to a pub called Riverside. Costumes were good for the night and generally a good night to be had by all, and the clocks went back an hour that night so huzzah for the extra hour in bed!

The rest of the weekend passed rather uneventfully catching up with a few friends in Southie and general good times. Now back home, I’m glad I left such a hugh amount of media to be consumed. It’ll keep me occupied in the coming weeks up till xmas.

Anyway, I’m off to read more about the life of Steve!

Ciao for now! :-)